The Egg-Roll

Yesterday after church I found myself at a delicious Chinese restaurant staring at a menu. I asked my husband what I should get that would be healthy. I wasn’t a fan of his answer. I decided on a cup of Hot and Sour soup, white rice, steamed vegetables, and two crab cheese rangoons. I didn’t think I would be very happy with my meal, but I actually enjoyed the vegetables. I added a little soy sauce (yes I know, Sodium! But one can only ask for so much) and thoroughly enjoyed the veggies and rice. When they brought out the main entrées an egg roll was on my plate in place of the rangoons. I politely asked if they were out of crab cheese rangoons. They weren’t, our waitress had simply forgotten. So she brought out another plate with my two crab cheese rangoons and left the egg roll.
I, being the strong, self-willed enabler, placed the egg roll on the second small plate and left it to the side. I would take crab cheese rangoons over egg rolls any day, rangoons are the reason I like Chinese food. I might potentially even judge Chinese restaurants solely on the quality of their rangoons.
Anyways. The conversation moved on as we all ate and was so engrossing I can’t even remember what it was we were discussing, but I’m sure it was ridiculous as our best friends were sharing the table and often our husbands start off on something crazy.
And then it happened, I had happily eaten my veggies and rice, slurped my yummy Hot and Sour soup, and savored the rangoons. My hands then went towards the Egg Roll. I tore it in half and was about to place it in my mouth when I heard a voice from on high:
“You didn’t order that for a reason”. I looked around guiltily and then realized the voice wasn’t “from on high”, it was next to me in the form of Bethany who smiled and reminded me she wouldn’t bother if she didn’t love me. Mmhmm. I sighed and offered up the egg roll. Dru, my husband, quickly added it to his bowl of food and I sat there wondering why I was about to eat something that I didn’t even want.
How am I supposed to fight against an addiction when my mind is working against me and I’m not even aware of it?

How many empty calories have I eaten simply because food was in front of me?
Or because I was bored?
Am I even tasting the food?

Struggles

After counting my calories for three weeks and watching how quickly some foods add up and how easily it is to go over the amount of calories you are suppose to eat in a day I am dreadfully disapointed in the calories burned during exercise versus calories eating enjoyable food.

Its complete crap.

I suppose if I recieved more enjoyment from exercising I might feel a little compensated. But I don't like exercise, not really. I like the idea of exercise and even the theory behind it, but when it comes right down to it - I would rather sit down and read a book and perhaps eat a bowl of ice cream. (I realize some of you are hands raised "Oh, Oh I know your problem!" - Don't bother. I am fully aware its better to exercise than sit with yummy ice cream and a good book and I am trying to do more exercise less ice cream, but you (Royal) informing me that I can't eat ice cream doesn't help, just pisses me off - and I accept all childishness) So anyways, I'm sitting here wondering why exercise just doesn't pay off in my mind - workout for an hour burn 300 calories, eat wheat pasta and mozzarella cheese gain 300 calories...


Thankfully I have discovered the Wii Fit which is not exercise, but likes to tell me how many calories I burned after I'm done playing. I often am gross and covered in sweat when I'm done playing so I feel like I did something worthwhile and enjoyed myself at the same time. Still not as good as reading a book, but much better than exercise.

So... do you do anything special to trick yourself into exercising? Or are you one of those truly disturbing people who like exercise (more power to you - I only wish I had that kind of mojo!)

Pressing On

Minus 2 pounds. That’s all I have to show for my first month of attempting to be healthier

(Below is an exert of a conversation with myself)
Me1: *sigh*, louder *sigh*, louder and brazenly disappointed that you hear on the other side of the room *sigh*. This is unfair.
Me2: But aren’t you now exercising almost daily and most days with a friend?
Me1: Well.. I suppose
Me2: And haven’t you successfully and consistently counted your calories for almost a week and a half – even the weekend – even the five pieces of pizza that you are now aware you should never ever eat again no matter how many decks you are working on? This has to be a record.
Me1: Ya, but see…
Me2: And really aren’t we looking to develop positive behaviors?
Me1: But I want to just wake up and magically have obtained all of my weightloss and healthy lifetime goals.
Me2: That’s very sad for you.

I’d continue with the conversation, but Me1 feels the need to wallow and be sad for a bit longer. On the bright side, I have made some real changes. My crazy, wonderful friend has faithfully shown up each time to exercise. My very patient husband has started measuring more (at least telling me how many handfuls) of food he dishes out when cooking. I am using a great tool on my phone called LOSE IT!, which helps me keep track of my calories eaten, calories burned, and sends out a weekly summary to anyone I add which tells them how I did for the week. It gives me that accountability that I know someone other than myself (who is really good at making excuses) is looking at what I enter in. It also means that if I cheat and decide to only add three pieces of pizza to my daily calorie intake instead of the five… it means I’m lying. And then I’m lying to people that care enough about me to willingly accept a random e-mail once a week that says what I’ve eaten for the week. And that would be really low of me.

So… here’s to pressing on and to the month of September.